The short answer is yes. 

Does Infidelity Pain Ever Go Away? 

Yes, the pain of infidelity does eventually go away once you move on and heal from the hurt. Those who are still hurting from the pain of infidelity are probably hurting because they have not gotten over the trauma of being betrayed. If your spouse has cheated, you may feel the pain of infidelity for years after you’ve been betrayed—even in cases where you decided to end the marriage. The pain that comes with being cheated on is excruciating and isn’t typically something that a person can just “get over,” assuming they were in love with their spouse at the time the infidelity was discovered. While infidelity pain does go away, people often find that working with a mental health counselor is beneficial in helping them overcome the trauma of experiencing betrayal. 

Can a Marriage Go Back to Normal after Cheating? 

No, a marriage cannot usually go back to normal after cheating. Generally, infidelity is a sign that both parties need to make some serious changes in order to save the marriage and help it begin to thrive. While cheating was always a choice made by the wayward spouse, both spouses will face the consequences of the wayward spouse’s actions, and both spouses will likely have to make changes in order to make the marriage work. Many couples who save their marriage after cheating report that their marriage came back better than before. However, saving a marriage after infidelity requires a lot of work and specialized help. Both parties need to be committed to saving the marriage and making real changes. 

When Should You Walk Away after Infidelity? 

Cheating doesn’t have to mean that your marriage is over, but for some people, it’s not possible to forgive their spouse after they’ve experienced such a betrayal. While forgiveness is healing, nobody is entitled to another person’s forgiveness. If you feel as though you can never forgive or trust your spouse ever again, that may be a sign that you need to walk away from the marriage. Of course, before you decide to get a divorce, you could work with a mental health professional to ensure that you really are making the best decision, as forgiveness and trust won’t come instantly. However, if you know you can’t love your spouse after they’ve betrayed you, it may be time to end the marriage. 

Is a Marriage Worth Saving after Cheating? 

For some people, it is worth it to try to save the marriage even after they’ve been cheated on. For other people, cheating is an absolute deal breaker that will not be tolerated. Other people see cheating as a wake up call: it’s time to fix the marriage and to whatever it takes to save it. Many of those who have successfully saved their marriage will tell you that it’s absolutely worth it to attempt to save a marriage after cheating. Similarly, many of those who decided that it was the end of the marriage might also say that it isn’t worth it to save the marriage. Whether or not saving your marriage after infidelity is worth it will depend on whether or not you feel like you can forgive and trust your spouse at some point in the future. 

Can a Cheater Ever Be Trusted Again? 

Yes, a cheater can be trusted again. However, that doesn’t mean everyone who cheats can be trusted again, or is entitled to a second chance. If your spouse betrays you, they will need to take accountability for their actions, and put effort into making changes and doing the work necessary to repair the trust they broke and help save the marriage that was further damaged by their actions. Spouses who make excuses such as “Yes, I cheated but it’s your fault because…” or spouses who refuse to go to therapy to work on the issues that exist within the marriage, have not fully taken accountability for their actions. This may make it more difficult to trust them again because they’ve justified bad behavior and/or have not show a commitment to repairing the marriage by whatever means necessary. 

When You’re Getting a Divorce 

If you’re getting a divorce, SimpleEnding may be a great option for you. Getting divorce does not have to be a long and expensive process. At SimpleEnding, you can draft and generate your divorce documents from the comfort of your own home—you don’t even have to see your ex. You can get started on your attorney-quality divorce documents at SimpleEnding.com.